chaotic order

"In fear" - an intense study of psychological collapse One of the greatest, most intense fear of Man is the thought of getting lost: physically, psychologically or spiritually. Self-consciousness and rational thought, our twin vehicles of success on this planet, is definitely a boon considering whatever we have achieved as Humans. But the flip side is the perpetual, persistent goal driven life that such self-conscious thought projects and sustains. Other species don't face this problem. They live with an intensity in the moment, and die as naturally as they live. I wonder if they even know what a "goal" or an "end" means? Curiously, our fear is not about total annihilation per se (unfortunately we all know that we have to die), but this nagging existential feeling of not knowing what would happen after that. We assiduously cultivate our moral, intellectual, social, ethical and spiritual walls in such a way that we are, at the very least, lulled int

Donatien Alphonse François de Sade - Known to us as Marquis de Sade. ( P.S : It is amazing how these essays are born. Yesterday evening, over dinner, a friend casually used the word "sadist" referring to someone of his acquaintance over a very trivial affair. Though I acknowledged his judgment, somehow at the back of my mind, I was uncomfortable with his use of that word. Marquis De Sade was a significant writer, thinker and trail blazer in his own right. And it didn't seem right that a word coined around his name should be bandied about so frivolously. So I woke up in the middle of the night to pen this short essay, almost without a break. The subject may not be to everyone's liking, but life is such. Though Sade remains a controversial figure after 300 years, there is no taking away from the fact that his life opened a new leaf in understanding Human freedom and the limits to which he one can go to achieve an end.. Read on....) It is considered a matter of pri

August: Osage county - a riveting drama. There are moments in a Movie when all elements of genius – acting, screenplay, context and setting– gather together making it almost impossible to define or evoke in words that feeling of awe and transcendence such a cinematic frame could bring. And more so when on the same screen we have the intensity of Meryl Streep and overwhelming presence of an aging Julia Roberts enacting some of the finest pages of a Pulitzer winning play written by Tracy letts - August: Osage county. Let me try and recreate a pivotal scene of this film in words. A daunting task, but challenging as a writer and worth trying. Picture a large Dining room dimly lighted and furnished in dark wood. Three families have gathered together for a funeral dinner. Matriarch Streep (plays the role of Violet), her three daughters and their families wish to settle down for a quiet dinner reminiscing about the dead father. Streep’s husband (a brief role played by Sam Shepard) was f

A close encounter.. In these ephemeral pages of Facebook, I have recounted, relived and reminisced about many conversations and chance happenings over the last few years, but the one I am about to recount is perhaps unique, and I pray that I may never may the occasion to meet such a situation again. But then one never knows. The beauty and horror of life lies in its utter insecurity. At around 8.00 Pm today, walking back home from my Swim, there is dark stretch of road I need to traverse (unfortunately no street lights worth the name there) that bends towards an intersection that leads to my Apartment. It has been rainy day in Atlanta. Incessant drizzling and water soaked roads everywhere. With an umbrella over my head, tired and quite exhausted after a good hard workout, I was lost in contemplation over a podcast I was listening to in the Sauna. All of sudden, I felt someone tap my back. Turning around, I stood facing three hulks, Black-Americans, blood shot eyes, reeking of alc

Thanks!!! My profound thanks to all friends who took time to read my post on the mugging that happened the day before yesterday, offered their wishes and enquired about my well-being. It is always very satisfying to receive such undiluted love and affection. Messages on Facebook, emails, Skype calls and chats inundated me. All that I can ever hope to do is to reciprocate such unconditional love, but never be able repay it. Many thanks again!!! However, there was one call that set me thinking in a different direction. It was from a close friend who pinged me on Skype and said “Bala, Why did you walk that way. Could you have not taken a different route?" A common enough question, asked with lot of care and genuine sympathy; but, as I said, it set my mind thinking. The point is, I have walked that same path for well over two years now. A quick mental calculation revealed the number to be about 200 times, at least. And not once have I encountered anything close to being a threat

I am surprised, and to an extent puzzled at the inordinate amount of time, fury and words that many of us has been spending on chastising Amir Khan ( an actor) who all of us know, happened to make a remark during a felicitation speech/interview on the state of intolerance existing in India. Well, here I am writing about it too. Now, There are two ways of looking at this vituperative outpouring in all forms of media. Either we have nothing better to do, run out of options and find it entertaining to display our patriotic fervor on print; or, this one scares me even more - we are really serious about an Actor's stray comment on his perception of things. As a country, we are stuck up with Actors and Actresses. That is the brutal fact all of us have to face. Not only do we idolize them, but chose to place them on a pedestal that will put the paganism of Romans to shame. While I understand that if one is a public figure whose words affect national polity, social and individual rights

There are many profound books which have radically altered my world view. Some of them heavy tomes of prose that needed months of concentrated reading and assimilation, others containing epigrammatic propositions, again needing a lot of cogitation and time; and then there are those few books -written in unassuming style and vivid clarity - instantly strike a chord deep within, obviating the necessity of thinking about it. The meaning is intuitive and plain to see like the beauty of a freshly watered rose, or the striking brilliance of lightning. They are their own witnesses and need no further elucidation. One such book was" Does it matter?" by Alan watts. A collection of his essays on diverse topics, written for periodicals and mainstream media. I remember a particular essay on Money written sometime in the 70's in which he writes: "Money is a way of measuring wealth but is not wealth in itself. A chest of gold coins or a fat wallet of bills is of n