The passage of the Dead....

On my way back from the health club , I was tuned into a NPR podcast, where a Trained Mortician and embalmer was being interviewed on the nature of her profession. She was asked on what should change in the 'Cremation industry' today; to which her answer was quite extraordinary. She replied :" I wish families would be there when I push the body into hot fire. Most of the time, I do it alone with no family members around. They are either uncomfortable, or at best pay mechanical lip service to the dead. What I would want to see is more personal involvement in the ritualizing of death, and not delegate it to a professional company to do the job.."

As a species, we have an unique attitude towards death. The fact of the matter is that we frankly do not know how to treat a dead body. Do we bury it, cremate it, throw it to the vultures, allow to it rot - there is absolutely no unanimity on this fundamental truth of life. None of our animal cousins seems to have to this confusion, unless we wish to anthropomorphize their deaths. While it is true, that Humans beings are self-conscious, capable of objectifying and abstracting the word outside , and have built for themselves a civilization based on powerful contraptions of thought, emotions and dependency,; it is but natural that we would want to deal with the finality of death with more care. love and a deep sense of solemnity to the departed. But the point is do we really give our beloved ones a fitting farewell, based upon the life they have lived, the wonderful moments shared and a joyous adieu for crossing the bounds of mortality. Death is a beautiful moment. I mean the natural process of dying, not the grotesque deaths caused by maddening violence these days. And to lovingly bid farewell, with deep sorrow, immense love and gratitude; ritualizing it with great splendor and art - is a wonderfully human gesture. It does not matter which faith one belongs to, or what is the prescribed method of disposing the dead; it is more of the attitude that we bring to this final act of bidding farewell. We really don't know, if there is an afterlife, or a heaven or a hell or both; all that we see is the finality and cessation of a once living, breathing, thinking, loving and emoting Human being, who has now ceased to be.. To be remain with that truth, to acknowledge and and embrace it - is a cathartic experience, a revelation into our own impending temporality.

In the East, especially in India, I am glad we spend a good quality time with our departed loved ones. The very fabric of our religious rituals have woven into itself the need to remember and celebrate the transition of life to death. These custom typically run in to many days, and during that period , the family gets ample time to reflect upon the nature of the departed individual, their contribution, memories and a general appraisal of meaning of life and death. Though the significance of rituals have been distorted or lost in Modern times, there is still a social obligation, a taboo , that ensures that the specified formalities are consummated. Years ago, I had noted down a wonderful observation by Elizabeth gilbert in her book 'Eat, pray, love' ( a movie with Julia Roberts was also made of the book) where she writes about the need for ritualizing powerful, portent moments in Human life. Read her beautiful words:

"...We do spiritual ceremonies as human beings in order to create a safe resting place for our most complicated feelings of joy or trauma, so that we don't have to haul those feelings around with us forever, weighing us down. We all need such places of ritual safekeeping. And I do believe that if your culture or tradition doesn't have the specific ritual you are craving, then you are absolutely permitted to make up a ceremony of your own devising, fixing your own broken-down emotional systems with all the do-it-yourself resourcefulness of a generous plumber/poet.”

Wonderfully summarized.. Nothing can be more healing than personally ritualizing death. It may be a door to our awakening...

God bless....