The inner drive..

Temperature in Atlanta, for most part this week has been below zero. I guess this is first time this season that the presence of winter is making itself felt. In the mornings when I go out for a Swim, there is hardly anybody walking on the streets. Even those in cars seems to be covering their head with Hoodies (God knows why??). The chatter in the Health club is all about negotiating this "extreme" climate. Funny, though!!. This is hardly a ferocious winter when one compares it to other parts of US. Yet, I guess, people get acclimatized to local conditions, and tend to exaggerate them beyond proportion.

Normally, I walk through my office buildings to get to other side where the Health club is located; and it is my practice (or more of a fond ritual..) that I stop at the further end of the building to talk for a few minutes with a very pleasant lady who works as security in-charge at that gate. She has good passion for her job, and she smiles and greets almost everyone who walks through that door. I know her for nearly a year now, and she constantly keeps complimenting me on my discipline of going to the Gym, no matter what. It could be raining cats and dogs; scorchingly hot; or as in the present case , almost icing - I never miss my swim and workout, if I am in Atlanta. And I always take a few minutes to talk to her - enquire about her heath, family , make casual talk before I move on.

Today, she was visibly shocked that I had ventured out in this really biting weather. She Said " Mr Bala, could you not have skipped this routine today? The wind outside is killing!. I am sure you did not see anyone else on the road.." and she laughed..

" Amy(name changed). I am adequately covered, and this walk generates good heat to counter the cold. And moreover, it is an inner discipline that pushes me. It is something that I have come to enjoy so much, that it is really not a big deal. any more. Amy, A few years ago, I would found myself every excuse not to do something, but now I have realized that If one passionately believes in an activity or an idea, then discipline comes in automatically. There is no need for anyone to push.. Let me give a visible illustration, Walk down with me to the other door..

She was puzzled but came along. Between two buildings, there is a small enclosure for smokers, and from our door, I pointed Amy to the number of people who were up there smoking. I said " Look at them Amy, It is biting cold outside, and windy too; yet there are eight to ten of them all covered from head to toe, shivering, struggling to hold the cigarette between fingers, but till managing to pull a few puffs to satiate a passion, a desire. Nothing (save a catastrophe) can deter them from not coming down for a smoke. They will always find means to make sure that they get an opportunity to do what like to do. So it is with everything else in life... This may be a crude illustration, but everything boils down to a deep conviction and drive within oneself to do something"

Amy looked at me and nodded contemplatively.. and said" Hmm. make sense Mr Bala, But take care though".

"I will Amy, Thanks.."

As I walking back from my swim, I thought about what I said to Amy.. How true, Isn't it? Addiction, Ambition, Drive are variations on a same theme - the deep down desire to do something that we feel is good for us. In such cases, there is no need to impose discipline, it flowers of its own accord.. And the art is to channelize that energy, force into meaningful living - one that cherishes life and our place in it. I was reminded once again, of a lovely piece of advice in the Bhagavad gita. In chapter six, Krishna says:

uddhared ātmanātmānaḿ
nātmānam avasādayet
ātmaiva hy ātmano bandhur
ātmaiva ripur ātmanaḥ

Freely Translated:

"One can discipline oneself only through oneself, nobody else can make it happen for you. such flowering of inner focus will bring an unity of purpose and inner peace; in its absence, life gets fragmented and drains away ones energy to live fully"

However,The choice of focus is entirely ours. Sometimes reaching that point of focus may be arduous and full of hurdles, but it definitely is there for us to touch, but one needs to be deeply committed and passionate to find that source..

God bless....