Jottings - Slice of life - 424 ( The accidental act of indiscretion by Jeffrey Toobin, and some personal thoughts on the culture of virtual meetings)

Jeffrey Toobin, the CNN legal analyst and a fabulous writer for the Newyorker magazine, is under the spotlight the last few days for his accidental act of indiscretion on Zoom. Toobin was found masturbating during a routine internal video conference with his colleagues. His defense is that he didn’t realize the camera was "on" during a scheduled break out session. Mistakenly assuming the camera was not on, he continued to chat on another line while simultaneously pleasuring himself. The participants in the call, out of deference for the man, and his awkward predicament, kept quiet during the call; but later registered the issue with the Magazine on Toobin’s conduct. Given the hype and sensitivity on acts of sexual misdemeanor of any kind or proportion, especially by a male, it came as no surprise that both CNN and the Newyorker promptly suspended Toobin without much deliberation, and the man himself has now declared he is on professional sabbatical, after offering a sincere apology for the accident. I don't think he can offer anything more, because it was an accident.

Before we arrive at any quick judgment on Toobin’s indecent exposure; let us remind ourselves, that all of us, spending on average around ten hours or more in front of a computer screen, relentlessly hopping from one meeting to another, watching one set of faces disappear on screen and another set taking its place, struggling to keep our facial, emotional and intellectual poise in place during each call, consistently worrying about the background noise and lighting — are equally susceptible to commit acts of indiscretion, if not actually masturbating, but definitely, lesser forms of socially offensive behavior. The fact that most of us haven't done so yet, doesn’t mean we are immune to it. All it takes is one unsolicited moment to be caught in a comprising position. Human beings are meant to meet one another, face each other, interact regularly at the workplace, and communicate as much through our body language as we do through our voice. More can be achieved in a five-minute coffee break in the aisle with a group of people you want to talk to than in a one-hour zoom call. The sheer formality of logging in to zoom, making sure we are heard or seen properly, frantically checking our commuter settings, initiating the conversation, setting the agenda, leading the call, and finally summarizing it - has a tone of artificiality and an aura of theatricality to it. I don't know about others, but for me, there is never a sense of completeness about a zoom meeting. It often feels like we did some imaginary business with remote associates from space and time. Work is happening, at the same time, it doesn’t feel like work. The pent up emotional frustration of spending our days doing this kind of work must eventually find a vent. The physical energy has to find its dissipation in some form or the other. Even with a disciplined exercise regimen at the end of the day, there are moments during the day, especially if a call hasn't gone well, to do something that can immediately relieve the stress and give us the capability to get on with the next call. To some, it could be a cup of coffee, to others a break with a few minutes of music or a book or a chat with family, and to some - unfortunately - something more intense than all of these. The physical urges can sometimes become uncontrollable, and more so when the work environment is the home itself. I think that's what happened with J Toobin. for a few precious minutes he lost his bearings, not deliberately, but pushed by the surge of primeval instincts.

The year 2020 has taken many things away from us. Most importantly, our freedom to move and mingle freely. Forced to work from home and closeted within a room day in and day out, we fervently wait for the weekend to arrive to give ourselves some emotional and physical ( I am confident my readers understand this could take many forms) release. While there is much that is written about the benefits of working from home, most of it is actually financial — the cutting down of travel costs, the closing down of office spaces, etc — and less about the emotional well being of man. We try our best to alleviate the misery by talking about mindfulness and meditation, but the truth is that it aggravates the condition even further. Why talk about doing something, when the conditions for that are simply not there? We all agree the pandemic did necessitate quarantining, but somehow after seven months of this routine, I get the feeling that even after the pandemic is over, most organizations — having now tasted the elixir of cost savings — would think twice to go back to the office style of working. well, if we don't return soon to working like how human beings are meant to be working, let’s be prepared for the more such Toobinian ( I coined this word just now) accidents or misdemeanors or acts of vulgarity — whichever way we like to think about it.

Jeffrey Toobin is a fine intellectual and writer. I have read a few of his books. His writing has a clarity of thought and elegance in style. Toobin’s private life and his past time activities are his prerogatives, and not for us to comment upon. Yes, it is awkward to be seen holding your intimate parts in your hand in front of your colleagues and simultaneously carry on a serious professional conversation as though no-one is watching you, but, I am sure, every time Toobin thinks of that moment, he would involuntarily cringe, and the taste of embarrassment and humiliation would haunt him for the rest of his life. The least we can do is to sympathize with the man and allow him the benefit of the doubt on his judgment. This incident, as many are trying to establish, does not prove that Toobin is sexually depraved or deprived, or has always had a propensity for the vulgar. At the most, it proves that even a man of Toobin’s intellectual caliber hasn’t really understood a. how virtual meetings work? b. how to enjoy himself without being caught on camera?

Next time we sit in front of the machine to login to a call, lets us ensure we are well-groomed ( including well dressed), our surroundings reflect the serenity, sanctity, and professionalism required of a work meeting, we ensure our hands are visible clearly to others ( not sure how we can manage that always unless one is naturally expressive while speaking), and more importantly, without fail, to switch off our cameras, and actually ask the participants if they can still see us before we start doing something that we don't want others to be privy to. This is easier written than done. If we are fated to be on zoom calls for the rest of our lives, even for the most mundane of conversations between ourselves, the probability that our guards will slip at least once in five thousand calls is high.

Let's hope the rest of us haven't reached that critical mass, as yet.