The entrapment of beliefs - An evening at Downtown Saltlake city...
All that I could see was the spacious and stunning architecture of the Temple of Latter day saints (LDS) situated in temple Square, Downtown Saltlake city. The inner precincts of the church was only for the believers of Mormonic faith, and needed a recommendation from an higher authority to enter it. So obviously, I couldn't go inside.. A friend of mine, an young lady, who had attended my class months ago decided to accompany me to the temple grounds, when she knew that I was planning to visit it. She was a staunch Mormonite. It was a beautiful evening and we strolled around the capacious acreage of greenery talking and discussing the rudiments of her faith and the symbology behind it. Mormons placed a lot of importance on Customs, rituals and strict adherence to it, and she was telling me about the various books that they use for liturgical purposes; and its origins. She seemed very knowledgeable about the whole thing., but I could sense that she was really making an effort to justify these beliefs to me. I let it pass though...
We sat down on a bench for sometime in silence , and then I asked her a quiet question " Have you ever questioned your beliefs....?"; and her answer was quite interesting, and contrary to the passion that she exhibited earlier . She said " In my entire life, every step of the way, I have been following a prescribed path. My parents were very kind and caring, but they always expected an implicit obedience to the Mormonic faith. My childhood friends, My adolescent crushes, My fiancee - all of them had to pass the litmus test of religious precepts and communal dogma. Our faith demands that every young man and woman must serve as a missionary in a far off land for a period of two years, and I was sent to Portugal and Africa to live such a life. if you ask me, if I really wanted to go, My answer will have to be a "No", but having lived there for some time, I don't regret it either. The faith ensured that I had a good education, never felt the need for money because it always there ,and my family sincerely wished and prayed for my well being. I am now in my late thirties, married to Man from the same faith, mother to two beautiful girls, have a good job and everything seems very good on the face of it. But of late, I am having doubts. In my quieter moments, I get this gnawing feeling of having compromised my life to a force that I had no choice to chose in the first place... I begin to have doubts on whether I should impose the same set of blinders on my children , or give them a more egalitarian atmosphere. I get frightened of these thoughts, because I am never used to doubting the fundamentals of my life, so far"
As I listened to her, I realized that most of us are on the same boat as she is. Deep down, all of us are stuck in our quagmire of beliefs, customs and social acceptance. Everything seems great on the surface. but deep down, there is discontent - the gnawing existential doubt within all of us.. One may keep brushing it aside, but it is there ;- lingering like a shadow behind every act..
We wound up our conversation in a Italian restaurant and I came back to my Hotel. My mind was filled with images of the temple ; its imposing structure and strong symbolism. It is amazing that after all the modernity that we profess, we still remain a trousered primitive , caught in the cocoon of self imposed value systems that we don't quite understand ourselves, but yet manage to pull off a life by living according to its tenets. Is this a sign of wisdom or foolhardiness? The answer is an enigma., a mystery.
God bless.....
We sat down on a bench for sometime in silence , and then I asked her a quiet question " Have you ever questioned your beliefs....?"; and her answer was quite interesting, and contrary to the passion that she exhibited earlier . She said " In my entire life, every step of the way, I have been following a prescribed path. My parents were very kind and caring, but they always expected an implicit obedience to the Mormonic faith. My childhood friends, My adolescent crushes, My fiancee - all of them had to pass the litmus test of religious precepts and communal dogma. Our faith demands that every young man and woman must serve as a missionary in a far off land for a period of two years, and I was sent to Portugal and Africa to live such a life. if you ask me, if I really wanted to go, My answer will have to be a "No", but having lived there for some time, I don't regret it either. The faith ensured that I had a good education, never felt the need for money because it always there ,and my family sincerely wished and prayed for my well being. I am now in my late thirties, married to Man from the same faith, mother to two beautiful girls, have a good job and everything seems very good on the face of it. But of late, I am having doubts. In my quieter moments, I get this gnawing feeling of having compromised my life to a force that I had no choice to chose in the first place... I begin to have doubts on whether I should impose the same set of blinders on my children , or give them a more egalitarian atmosphere. I get frightened of these thoughts, because I am never used to doubting the fundamentals of my life, so far"
As I listened to her, I realized that most of us are on the same boat as she is. Deep down, all of us are stuck in our quagmire of beliefs, customs and social acceptance. Everything seems great on the surface. but deep down, there is discontent - the gnawing existential doubt within all of us.. One may keep brushing it aside, but it is there ;- lingering like a shadow behind every act..
We wound up our conversation in a Italian restaurant and I came back to my Hotel. My mind was filled with images of the temple ; its imposing structure and strong symbolism. It is amazing that after all the modernity that we profess, we still remain a trousered primitive , caught in the cocoon of self imposed value systems that we don't quite understand ourselves, but yet manage to pull off a life by living according to its tenets. Is this a sign of wisdom or foolhardiness? The answer is an enigma., a mystery.
God bless.....
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