Bodily mutation - Cancer, an organic collapse..

In 2011 I remember hearing the news in Christchurch ,NZ that Dr. Siddhartha Mukherjee had won the Pulitzer prize for his book "The emperor of all Maladies". It so happened that there was a Borders books store near the hotel I was staying in; and I promptly bought a copy of it. Over the weekend, I nearly finished three forth of the book, riveted and absorbed in the brilliant story that Dr Mukherjee unfolded on the history, advent and search for a cure for Cancer. In many ways, the book was an eye opener; and the seminal message which came across to a reader was the frightening and chastising fact that cancer is really not a disease caused by any extraneous factors, but rather a state in which one's own body degenerates and mutates destroying itself in the process. And one does not know why it happens or when it can happen. It is utterly unpredictable and to a large extent unexplained as well.

As I was taking my customary walk today, I was tuned into NPR. They were replaying an interview of Dr Mukherjee with Terry gross, soon after he won the Pulitzer. During the course of their conversation, the Doctor said and I paraphrase " If there was one moment in this century long fight against cancer that was indeed humbling and numbing to a great extent , it was the realization that Cancer cannot be cured by fighting against anything external. It is a case of one's bodily cells self detonating for no reason, and the only way to fight it is by halting its proliferation without doing much damage elsewhere. And that is the research and cure that we are moving towards..."

This statement hit me with great force. This thing that I call my body is in reality not mine at all. Apart from the fact that I seem the ghost in this machine, there is nothing that I control in this mass of flesh. Almost every vital aspect of its functioning involuntarily goes on without an iota of my intervention. The heart beats, Lungs breathe, digestion happens, food metamorphizes, eyes see, Ears hear, Blood flows, Kidneys flush, liver secretes, Cells mutate and form again, chemicals juggle themselves into delicate equilibrium - where exactly is this ownership that I seem to be carrying around so authoritatively. Every moment , a million cells are working together in the most complex way possible, yet with a seeming order and purpose - and I don't know a thing about it. When Mystics state that one identification with the body is fictitious, we laugh at them. But then a moment of genuine enlightened introspection will reveal a possibility that they may be right, after all.

In his book , Dr Mukherjee presents cases so many patients dying of cancer, whose entire outlook on life undergoes a change, once they realize that their bodies do not want to carry on living and there is nothing they can do about it. There is no virus or bacillus that is causing damage; but simply, an organic self destruction without anybody intervening. And once that deep realization and resignation sets in, the quality of ones consciousness changes, and they become extremely receptive and thankful to life. The doctor poignantly says and again I paraphrase: " the best thing we could do as an oncologist is to tell the patient the truth about their condition. And the truth being that no medicine can cure Cancer, because there is nothing to be cured. It is only arresting its rapid destructive mutation."

Many of us have lost our dear ones to cancer. And for those of us who have seen friends or relatives dying in close quarters, one would not have failed to notice that towards the end they mellow down; and start living each day with tremendous vivacity and focus. They become more forgiving of the past, and rarely would hear them talk about the future. The present is what matters to them. The anchoring in the "now". As they watch their physical shell deteriorate and explode, a profound calmness, a dispossession of form happens.. and in that space, we glimpse the profound beauty and deep sadness of parting - and perhaps of life itself..

God bless...