Personal space - an invitation to "be" alone

As a matter of choice, I politely decline most social invitations, unless I am extremely comfortable (very few families!! fall in that bracket ) of being accorded my space in a company of people., Well, that is not to say, that I get invited often, but even the few that I get invited to; I find a way to wriggle my way out of it. I have nothing against social gatherings or its equivalents, but it is just that - deep down I get out of sync with conversations that happen there; and I don't wish to be thought of as an intrusion upon such vivacious and egregious moments with my studied or morose silences - whichever way it may be perceived.

Yesterday, after my swim, I was sitting along with a group of friends/acquaintances in a smoothie shop. It was mixture of Americans and Indians, and after all common chatter , one of my them said"

"Hey Bala, Why don't you join us tomorrow evening at my place. I have invited all the others, you are the only one left. Nothing special!!. Just a regular chill out on long weekend.. "

"Thanks, but I will have to excuse myself . I have something else to do..."

He laughed and continued: " You know what folks, I have known Bala for a little over a year now, and he never seems bored or restless for activity. He has his books and he keeps himself occupied... I wish I could pass time like that.."

I was alight with his explanation till his last statement. "Time pass"?? - that needed to be corrected...

I replied : " Very true. I have my set of priorities. You are right. But, I wish to humbly point out that what I do is not "passing time" , but rather an effort to try and understand what is time, life, myself and my relationship with the world outside- in other words, the meaning and purpose of it all. You see, Through out the week, we put on a professional mask and live up to its expectations - as much as we can; and when I get time during weekends, I invest some time digging into who exactly is this entity putting on such a mask. It is a very liberating exercise, and provides a quiet center for me to perform my activities outside. Do you know, why most religions have made a strict ritual of visiting a temple or attending payer meetings at regular intervals?. The idea is to use that time to keep aside all masks and try to touch that pure, naked core within - which gets unfortunately lost. mired in the unceasing activity that we choose to undertake every moment of our waking lives. Frankly, all that we are trained, indoctrinated to do is to keep changing our persona - call it professional, student, social, friend, lover, enemy etc.. And that can get tiring my friend, If one does not detach oneself from all that once in a while and see the whole thing in perspective. The metaphor is : One must know that stillness of the ocean beneath, to survive the waves on it. Every water sporting guy will tell us that..

" So Gentlemen, I love people and company as much as all of us do, but I have realized that not all such gatherings are conducive to my well being. No offence meant at all. It may be just that I am not being sociable. But that's a price I am willing to pay, if I can connect with something deeper within..."

All of them around were looking at me like an alien descended from a nether world. I broke that silence:

"Folks, let us have one more Avocado smoothie. Its on me..."..

The shell was broken, and we started buzzing again..

God bless...